Monday, September 26, 2005

You Know You're From Boulder When...

Your diet consists largely Boca burgers, Silk Soymilk, sushi, and Celestial Seasonings tea.

You understand the utility of burning a couch in the street.

Your kids wear 'Baby Gap' clothes.

You really believe that there is a war between Boulder High and Fairview.

You shop at Whole Foods and think it's guilty eating.

You wear shorts in the winter.

Riding your bike in the middle of the street is okay.

Your hybrid car is stocked with Ani Difranco and Indigo Girls CDs.

A member of your family either works or plays for C.U.

Sandals are worn year around, regardless of temperature.

You have either been, or sent your child to an alternative school, (ie. New Vista), because the other schools didn't challenge you/them enough.

Your waiter has a PhD in philosophy, and a MA in Women's Studies.

You'd rather starve than eat something that isn't organic.

You understand that "8 glasses of water a day" is what is required before 10:00 a.m.

Your sense of direction is: toward the mountains and away from the mountains.

Your friends don't eat meat, but they guzzle microbrew and designer coffee like it's water.

In any given line you can see a white person with dreadlocks who is barefoot and the next person is wearing Prada, Chanel sunglasses, a Rolex and is dripping in diamonds.

You're invited to a Halloween party only to find out "party" means serving peanut-pumpkin soup and sitting around reading Edger Allen Poe.

A "bike ride" is at least a 4-6 hour event, a "shower" is optional.

The only women wearing makeup are over 50 years old.

You know all 4 seasons: "winter," "two day spring,""drought season," and "one day fall".

The 3 most popular bumper stickers are: "Free Tibet," "Dog Is My Co-Pilot," and any array of Democratic political candidates.

The more holes a young person has in his clothes the more zeros are in his trust fund account balance.

April showers bring May blizzards.

You tell someone you're training for a 10K and they tell you they're training for a marathon and the Ironman.

You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka.

You've gone skiing in July.

You've gone sunbathing in January.

"Rio," "Pearl," and "Walnut" have nothing to do with Rio, pearls or walnuts.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Boulder.

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